Lately, I’ve been feeling like Demeter,

Holding the simultaneous grief and relief that children grow older.

With Venus and Mercury retrograde in my 5th house of children, I’ve been learning to let go - walking the fine line of protective way-shower and unconditional witness.

My daughter has this super loose tooth. It’s been hanging on for weeks. When I was a girl, my grandmother would pull my teeth. I’d excitedly phone her to tell her it was ready. She would walk over, and I would eagerly listen for her to say, “I’ll just give it a little wiggle,” knowing full well that she’d pull it out before I had the chance to chicken out. Though sometimes she would tell me it wasn’t quite ready yet. I adored this ritual. Apparently, I maintain this same girlish giddiness toward my daughter’s super wiggly tooth. Only, I find that my enthusiasm is met with anxiousness.

She does NOT want her tooth to come out. She wishes it could stay in her mouth forever. This sacred and precious piece of her very own vessel. A vessel that is changing against her knowledge. Undoubtedly, she wants to hold on.

I understand and respect her process. Her body, her choice. So I learn to leave it alone. Witnessing with love and patience.

Yet, concern arises when she resists her favorite foods and she laments that she’s not brave enough. So I pivot and rally! I’m her cheerleader now. “You can do it! Just pull it! Or I will!” Then I remember to relax. I tell her, “all the things you’ll be most proud of in your life, will be because you did something hard.” But she’s still not ready. And that’s ok.

Up until now, my babies have depended on me to conduct all major decision-making. It’s been up to me to know what’s best for them and what’s best for their bodies. I realize now that this is beginning to change.

Our children’s lives begin within our bodies, graduating to our arms, then maintaining a close orbit, clinging and tumbling around our bodies. The grief of Demeter means that our children grow further and further away from us. This is nature’s way. Yet no one gives you the exact date where the shared rituals cease. It’s easy to feel caught off guard.

Venus and Mercury’s retrograde has shown me that this is her journey. This is her experience. And as for me, I will learn to be more catlike.